One of the hardest things to do in this world is to console a grieving person whose spouse has died. This can be even harder when the deceased is your parent. How can you offer comfort to your surviving parent when you are trying to deal with the emotional stress as well?
Losing your parent is not the same as losing a spouse. You have to come to terms with this fact and be patient and understanding to their needs. Some of the ways you can do this are:
- Making sure their day-to-day necessities are being attended to.
- Allowing them to show grief on their timetable, not your own.
- Looking after their health and well-being.
- Acknowledging important dates, such as anniversaries and birthdays.
- Listening to them and being a shoulder to cry upon.
The days, weeks, or months following the loss of the parent and spouse are going to be the hardest. Depression may set in, as well as a lack of motivation to care for even the most basic needs. It is important that you help yourself and your surviving parent to carry on. This includes: diet, exercise, and plenty of rest. Staying in shape and good health will help the body to deal with stress and make the mourning process easier.
While the initial shock of the death may be short, friends and family will most likely be around you to occupy your thoughts at first. However, when this has stopped and the condolences slow down, the most important time arises for you to be there for your parent. You are both hurting, but it is time for you to care for them.
The initial pain might not happen right when you expect it will. People handle grief differently and your parent’s sadness may take longer to set in than you think it should take. This can be very frustrating to you because your parent’s denial might take weeks or even months to come to the surface. You need to be prepared for this when it happens.
If you need any advice on coping with your parent’s loss of a spouse, feel free to contact us at the Kabb Law Firm at 216-911-KABB (5222).