Power of Attorney or Power Struggle?
The Conversation Your Kids Are Avoiding
“We’ll talk about it later, Mom.” Sound familiar? It’s the new “dog ate my homework” – except this time, it’s your adult children dodging one of the most important family discussions they’ll ever have.
The Power of Attorney conversation isn’t just about signing some legal documents; it’s about facing truths that nobody wants to acknowledge. And here’s the real kicker: your kids’ silence speaks volumes.
Why Your Kids Are Afraid of Having The Power of Attorney Conversation
Your children are worried about who will pay the bills if you get sick, how they will access your accounts if there is an emergency, or what they will do if you start making questionable financial decisions.
Trust me, your children are not looking to be controlling, they are just very concerned about being powerless at the point when you need them the most.
What they’re not telling you is they’ve listened to horror stories from their friends about how their elderly parents fell for scams or forgot to pay their real estate taxes.
And here’s the tricky part: your children don’t know how to broach this subject without sounding like they want to take over your life.
At Kabb Law, we don’t like to look at Power of Attorney as simply a document, when it actually is a family drama waiting to happen. Your kids are probably debating among themselves who should take on this responsibility.
The POA Horror Stories
They also have heard a lot of POA horror stories that they would never bring up. For instance, the story about the aunt who couldn’t access her mother’s bank account during a medical emergency because the POA wasn’t properly notarized, or the childhood friend whose father emptied his retirement accounts before anyone realized he was developing dementia.
What else are they not telling you? Maybe they’ve already talked about what happens if you refuse to sign a POA. They know that without it, they might need to go through the expensive and public process of seeking guardianship if you become incapacitated.
The Burden of Responsibility
Another thing that your kids are keeping quiet about is the responsibility of making decisions for you, any possible mistakes they may make, and any disagreements they may have with each other about what’s best for you. Their big concern is about balancing respect for your independence with their duty to protect you.
Your Kids Are Trying To Do The Right Thing By You
When your children bring up the Power of Attorney conversation, it’s not because they want to control you. It’s because they want to protect you. They want to honor your wishes and preserve your dignity, even in worst-case scenarios. They’re trying to be responsible, even if their approach sometimes feels clumsy or controlling.
Embrace The Power of Attorney Conversation
The solution to these scenarios isn’t to avoid these conversations. Instead, bring these concerns to light.
Find out from your kids what’s really on their minds. Tell them your own fears and concerns. Talk about what you want and don’t want if they ever need to step in and make decisions on your behalf.
Kabb Law believes that you should set up a POA when you’re still healthy and clear-headed. That way you have control over the whole process, and it lets you set boundaries and limitations. You can always specify exactly what powers you’re granting and under what circumstances they take effect.
It’s important to remember that a Power of Attorney isn’t about giving up control – it’s about deciding how you want to be protected. It’s also about giving your kids the tools that they will need to have in order to help you while you are still able to decide what those tools should be.
So, the next time your children nervously bring up the Power of Attorney conversation over Sunday dinner, try asking them what’s really on their minds.
This conversation could be uncomfortable, but it’s better than the silence of things left unsaid.
Remember: The real power in Power of Attorney isn’t legal authority – it’s the trust between parents and children that is carefully preserved for when it matters most. Kabb Law is an expert in this field, and we encourage you to call Rachel at 216-991-5222.
